20

How to Deal with Disappointment Even When Nothing is Going Right

by Steve Scott | Join Him On Facebook

Dealing with Disappointment as an Internet MarketerYou will have things go wrong as an affiliate marketer.

Life does not always go the way we want or expect. Disappointment is a part of life.

Because of this, dealing with disappointment, is one of the best things you can learn as you’re building an Internet business.

Disappointment comes in many shapes and sizes. There are minor disappointments, such as no one responds to a great blog post you spent hours writing.  And there major disappointments, like Google de-lists your primary website.

Disappointment leads to fear and anxiety. It is difficult to be rational and make good choices when you are mired in fear and anxiety. Some people will allow disappointment to crush or cripple them.  They will allow the fear and anxiety of disappointment to beat them.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are some steps that will hopefully help you to deal with disappointment

1. Get Rid of Your Negativity

The first step is to pull back. Do something you enjoy and are good at in life. Take a nice jog through the park. Go watch a positive and uplifting movie. Read a good book. Play a game.  Do whatever you enjoy in life!

Before you can deal with the anxiety and fear of disappointment, you will need to get your mind in a slightly better place.  You need to revitalize and prepare yourself to face the problem.

2. Get Rid of Your Illusions

Sometimes the disappointment stems from unreal expectations. If you just started a new affiliate business and had begun to imagine the fabulous life of the rich and famous only to be crushed when you numbers don’t hit…  well… get over it.

It is my opinion that dreams are a bad thing.  It is fine to have a lofty goals and ambitions. I plan on someday being a millionaire.  I plan on traveling all around the globe. I plan on having a happy and content family.

But, for me, these are not “dreams”. They are not some idyllic fantasy that will magically happen. They are things I plan on making happen, and things I constantly work to bring about.

My plans may not work out. When they do not, I have to deal with the disappointment. But there are plans for everything I want and I work to make these things happen.

So before you move on and deal with the issue of disappointment you have to take an honest look at the issue. Was your goal realistic? If not, then the question may really be, “How can you MAKE that goal BECOME realistic”

3. Dealing with Disappointment from External Sources

Sometimes you truly can’t do anything about disappointment. It may really come from completely outside sources.

Your business partner may cheat you out of money. Commission checks you are expecting may never arrive. Your account may get deleted for some arbitrary reason.

“Stuff,”after all, happens.

You cannot go through life planning for these types of things.  Sometimes it really is not your fault and you simply have to have the courage to get on with your life.

But you still need to see if there are any lessons to be learned

Chances are that in all of these issues, there was little you could do to prevent them, but there may still be some positive takeaway to ensure that these never happen again.

4. Face the Issues

What went wrong? You need to dispassionately face the issues.  Could you have avoided the problem? Can you minimize the impact? What can you do to prevent the same thing from happening again?

This is not a time to Ostrich. Face the issue with honesty and integrity. There is nothing wrong with having a disappointment, whether the fault is yours or others. The important part is the lesson you take away.

Let’s have a concrete example here. As an internet marketer I have quite a few websites. Some do well, others don’t. Not too long ago, I had a new website that showed a lot of promise. It was gaining rank quickly and was just starting to turn a profit.

Then one day I woke up and the site was delisted by Google.  All that time, energy, work, money and plans working on it were basically shot.

Now it is easy to rant and rave, say I did nothing wrong and lay all the blame at the feet of the Big G. While to some extent all those things are true they do nothing positive.

The only answer is to critically go over my own steps. Where did I go wrong?  What could I do differently and better? Can I do anything to fix it?

The first thing I did was read everything I could about my specific issue. Then I analyzed everything I had done.  Then I wrote an action plan to ensure I would never again have the same problem.

In my case there was no way to rectify the problem. But if there is a way to fix the disappointment, this plan will also need to deal with that. The important points for facing the issue is that you do so honestly and you actually write down specific goals and actions.  Not just “think about it”, or “I will do better next time” but take pen to paper or finger to keyboard and make a plan on “HOW” you will do better.

5. Understand Disappointment is NOT Bad

If you ask anyone who has achieved any measurable degree of success in almost any field if they had any failure along the way chances are you will unleash a storm of personal failure stories.

I know I have had MORE than my share of personal failure and disappointment.

  • Steve Jobs was fired from the company he created; returning years later to rescue it from the brink of bankruptcy.
  • Albert Einstein failed his first college exam.
  • JK Rowling was a divorced mom living on welfare when she wrote Harry Potter.

The list goes on and on.

Everyone gets knocked on their butt by life a time or two. The important part is not whether you face disappointment and failure, but how you deal with it after the fact that separates those who achieve their goals and desires from those who go through life talking about, “what could have been if it wasn’t for….”

Thoughts? Comments?

Respond below…

Take Action. Get Results.




P.S. Struggling with your Kindle books? Don't know how to get started on Amazon? Looking to generate an additional stream of income?

If so, click here to grab "Kindle Publishing Checklist: The 46-Step Plan for Turning an Idea into a Best-Selling Book"


{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Jeevanjacobjohn

Awesome post, Steve.

Disappointment is something that we all have to deal with. I have had my own shares of disappointment with blogging, the recent one being my disappoint with my site traffic. I think the best way to deal with disappoint is to take a break (don’t do blogging, do something else – like you said, do something we enjoy). I like to watch movies, go outside, play basket ball and do that kind of stuff. It helps me to refocus on concentrate on what I am doing wrong (and maybe even what I didn’t do to get the expected results). Right now, I am trying to improve my site traffic numbers through relationship marketing with commenting, guest posting and social media participation (Hopefully, everything will work out great).

Anyways, thank you for the wonderful post, Steve!

Jeevan Jacob John

Reply

Steve Scott

Thanks Jeevan,

For sure simply getting away is a great way to deal with those negative emotions. You can’t simply spin your wheels or you simply get frustrated.

Glad you liked the article and good luck with ramping up your site traffic! (relationship marketing is a great way to do that!)

Reply

Omar Von Gimbel

You wouldn’t have a self-help blog to send us to that has a strategy for detaching our emotions from the outcomes, would you?

Reply

Steve Scott

Omar – Tom has a lot of good writing about overcoming challenges and having a mindset for being self-employed. Here is a good reference: http://www.leavingworkbehind.com/new-start-here/

Reply

Thomas @ Mobile App Tycoon

You are exactly right – being an internet marketing or an entrepreneur in general, you are going to have to deal with a lot of disappointments big and small. Just a few months ago I was banned from the AdSense program. I moved on and almost recovered when I got hit by the Penguin update. Sometimes you just have to step away for a little bit, get your thoughts together, and learn from your mistakes. I’ve always found that exercising helps get my thoughts in the right place and ready to tackle things logically rather than emotionally.

Thomas

Reply

Steve Scott

Thomas,

Yup working online is definetley a case of “two steps forward, one step back”. It can be difficult and a lot of little unforseen issues go with it. It is just as importnt to roll with these and not let them get you down as it is to know what you are doing nd work hard. Glad tto hear tha you are taking all the problems in stride.

Reply

Chris @ NPI

Steve, thanks for sharing.
Sometimes disppointments are base for new feature – we should, as you wrote, get rid of negativity and move forward!
BR, Chris

Reply

Chris @ NPI

I was thinking about future of course :)

Reply

Peggy Baron

Good timing on this, Steve.
The one I have the biggest problem with is #3. When the problems stem from external sources, it makes me crazy because they’re outside my control. I’m a control freak. ;)

Peggy

Reply

Steve Scott

Peggy,

I have to admit I agree with you on that. There is nothing more frustrating than to plan, get everything right and then have factors completely out of your control wreck havoc. Those are my biggest demotivator too. Certainly something to fight against. Thanks for the comment!

Steve

Reply

Martin Percival

Hey Steve,

I think anyone who’s been in the game for any amount of time has seen disappointment. It amazes me how often Google are responsible for delivering it though :-)

I was looking at your recent traffic stats post, so I’m sure you feel that same sting!

Martin

Reply

Steve Scott

Martin,

Absolutely,

99% of my online disappointment comes from the Big G, as I am sure is noticeable. That is why I really believe it is important to work on methods in addition to (or instead of) relying on Google. They are just sure to dissapoint in the long run.

Reply

Becca

No one is exception when it comes to dealing the hard time of disappointment. We
should learn how to overcome and stay positive no matter what the circumstances.

Reply

Kevin Riley

Steve,

Great points here and thanks for the article. Some of my biggest disappointments come from comments from my lists. Direct attacks from people can be devastating but I have learned that it just is part of the business. You can’t please everyone and I try to focus on providing better content, support and advice that will help and encourage people. This article was timely and encouraging. Thanks buddy!

Kevin

Reply

Anton Koekemoer

When you have a Business of your own (even if you run it after hours and not as a full time income) you have to learn that hard work does not guarantee you success or achieving your goals. This is something that a lot of people get to learn before even starting browsing for a job on the market. Overall I would say that you’ve mentioned a couple of points and great advice to keep in mind the next time you have to deal with personal Disappointment or know someone who is going through a difficult time – personal or professional.

Reply

Mike Kaye @ daily deal site

I think that dissapointment can become a cycle. It leads to fear and anxiety which leads to further dissapointment. If you look at it from a learning perspective you can stop the cycle.

Reply

Jens P. Berget

Hey Steve,

This reminds me about how I felt on a daily basis when I first started out with online marketing. I got dissapointed every single day, and it was all part of a negative attitude and too high expectations. And thinking that I’d be a huge success within a few weeks by just pushing a button :)

Now, I’ve turned dissapointment into a system of learning, and every time things don’t go my way I just analyze the why and the what, and do things differently. And I believe that’s the clue, keep learning and understand that we’ll always do mistakes but if we learn from them we will eventually get a lot better and we’ll make less mistakes :)

Reply

David

I agree with the no.5 “Disappointment is NOT bad”. They say, if you are too disappointed of something and things don’t go well as you expected it to be, you need to stop thinking about it and try to close your eyes and start counting from 20 to 1. It would make you calm and relax. I’ve been doing it for a year and it really helps you get rid of the stress. Thanks, Steve!

Reply

John Banks

Hi Steve,

Great article and great blog. I have just stumbled upon it, its so easy to get dissapointed especially when you are just starting out. I have dabbled for many years in this type of business with websites here and there. When I first started out I remember thinking all my site ideas were going to be great, but when they didnt take off its easy to just jack it all in….. a few years later and I have just launched my own blog and although it is literally a few weeks old I am really happy with it. But, i still get p**sed off with things, especially when I dont get the results i wanted – but I am in for the long haul and I know that the good times will out weigh the bad. Fingers crossed!

Great site once again.
John

Reply

Antoinette

Rejections, disappointments are everywhere. Wherever you face it stays there but this would depend how you’ll react on it. Face the problem and make a solution don’t make the problem as problem, simple as that!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: