Update (12/22/11): I wrote this article last year…but I thought it was funny enough to post again.
Anyway…I’m taking a few days off to enjoy time with my family. Check out the blog on Monday for an in-depth video about creating simple affiliate marketing videos for YouTube.
I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy your time spent with loved ones.
Recently I realized I’m a bit cocky when it comes to completing my projects. The truth is we’re about to witness the best project manager in the world – Santa Claus.
Old St. Nick has been a (not-so) lean, mean, project finishing machine for hundreds of years and there’s no sign he’s going to stop anytime soon.
I think we can learn a lot about project management from Santa Claus. In fact, let’s take a look at how he handles tasks that would have a Fortune 500 CEO peeing his pants:
#1- Customer Database Management
Just imagine having every child in the world in your customer database?
Talk about a management nightmare. Even Facebook couldn’t keep up with this amount of people.
Then right before Christmas he does the biggest list segmentation known to man – The “Naughty or Nice” List. He even does this with a goose quill pen and parchment. This is so 1890′s. Can’t we buy him an iPad?
#2- Manufacturing and Distribution
You need small, precise hands to make millions of toys. Fortunately Santa Claus has his own personal sweatshop filled with hard working elves. It takes a savvy businessman to keep a toy manufacturing plant hidden away from the prying eyes of OSHA.
Also, think about distribution. The “nice” customers need their orders fulfilled. Then he has to make sure the naughty children customers receive the proper amount of coal.
This coal doesn’t mine itself.
Imagine having to deal with a bunch of soot-covered, pissed off elfin coal miners with black lung?
This must get stressful during labor negotiations.
#3. Demi-Human Resources Management
You need lots of elves to make lots of toys. And I’m sure they don’t come cheap. Seriously, there’s only so long an elf is willing to work for candy canes and swirly twirly gum drops. Eventually you need to show them the money!
Fortunately Santa does have a competitive advantage as an employer… He lives in the NORTH freakin’ POLE. Where else are the elves going to work? You know, besides Starbuck’s and McDonalds.
#4- Marketing and Promotion
There’s a reason why Christmas is more popular than ever. In the months leading up to “The Big Day,” Santa Claus is glad handing all over the world. Do you know what it’s like to be personally responsible for simultaneously entertaining children in 988,903 malls? Talk about a long day!
Then we have to take into account all those other days competing for Holiday Domination. Halloween? Valentine’s Day? Easter? International Steve Scott Day? -There can be only one- Yet, Christmas is always on top!
#5- Transportation and Logistics
Circumnavigate the globe in one night? Not a problem!
Do a little B&E (Breaking and Entering) into everyone’s home? Easy as pie!
Time enough for milk and cookies? Check!
No other company in the world can match the delivery service of U.S.P.S. (United Santa Present Service.) Hell, even FedEx misses a few packages sometimes!
To Jolly Old St. Nick!
We can all take a page from Santa’s playbook. He’s a guy who’s been crushing it for hundreds of years. So if you feel stressed out from a project, think about all you can learn from The Hardest Working Man in Toy Business.
Here’s to you Santa!To Your "Internet Lifestyle",