Blog Traffic Blueprint Week 15

We’ve now arrived at the 15th edition of our Get More Blog Traffic Blueprint.  So far, we’ve covered a lot of ground in this series, but there’s still some ways to go.  I have burned through a lot of information on generating blog traffic so far in this series, and I still have some more coming. Bizarro Superman and Blog traffic Generation

But after this post I am going to put the series on a short hiatus and discuss a few other topics on for our Wednesday, “Chats.” I will ultimately work my way back to finishing up this series, have no fear.

If you haven’t implemented the blog traffic strategies from this series yet, take some time to go back to the older posts and work on integrating them into your daily routine.  Now,  on to the business at hand…

As a kid I enjoyed comic books.  As an adult I sometimes read science fiction books with “alternate universes,” – don’t worry, I am not going to go all “full nerd” on you with this post (though tempting), I just have one point to make.

In these comic book worlds and alternative reality stories there is one theme you can find fairly frequently: evil opposite twins.  Superman had an evil alternate from “Bizarro World” and many alternate universes stories also featured some sort of evil opposite.

Why do I mention this?

Because today is “Bizarro Blog Traffic Day.

For today’s tips you will get the traffic tips that exist in an alternate blogging universe.  They are the “anti” tips.  They are the things to do in the blogging universe if you want your traffic to dry up and blow away as if your blog was situated in the middle of the dust bowl in the 1930’s.

In other words:

Kids, don’t try these blogging tips at home Break this rules and you’ll risk reduce your chances to build loyal blog reader base.


Keyword Stuffing

Google loves Keywords.  Loves them!  The more the merrier.

Welcome in Keywords…the water is warm!

All those naysayers who say that 2-5% keyword density is “where you want to be” are crazy.  Why even bother to write posts.  Simply fill a page with keywords and the people will come running.  After all who wouldn’t want to read: “blogging, blogging tips, blog traffic, traffic generation, traffic tips, blog tips, get traffic to your website, generate traffic.”  Aren’t those keywords simply captivating reading?

Sense of Community

Why would you ever want to comment, ReTweet or link to anyone’s on a social network?  What does that do for you?  Who cares about other people, it is all about YOU after all!

Focus:  Who Needs It?

What does focus matter?  Your words are golden.  They flow across the page like Rainbow Poop. Your words are all brightness, sunshine and Unicorns.

It is fine to talk about quantum mechanics one day, knitting the next and then circle back to Affiliate Marketing Emails.

Don’t set up an RSS Feed :If people want to find you blog, they will find it.

Proper English is for nards.

Proper English, who needs it?

  • Verbs has to agree with their subjects?
  • Avoiding, unessessary, comma’s is a, pain.
  • No sentence fragments.
  • Not using no double negatives.
  • Speling cann bee so harde.
  • Avoiding the run on sentence because it is hard to read and grasp the topic and the point of what is trying to be said by the person saying it.

Ayup!  Grammar is over-rated!  Using spellcheck and worrying about proper puncuation and grammar is a waste of time.  Why even bother.  People should enjoy what you have to say, simply because you say it!


We all know outbound links are good.  So the more the better -right?  Have tag clouds.  Place an outbound link in every sentence.  If you are industrious, maybe two or three.  If ten internal and outbound links are good;  110 internal links must be awesome.  People will spend the whole day simply following all your links.  It will be wonderful.  Everything will be right with the world.

Blog Images

  • Image Meta descriptions are for sissies.  Who needs an alt image description really?
  • Put lots of pictures in your post.  Make sure they are all full resolution and full size so that people can see all the beauty.
  • Why not throw up a few animated gifs while you are at it.  After all, that animated gif of Homer Simpson swilling a beer is Funny. Capitol F-unny! Flash is FUN!
  • Name the images in a system that works for you.  “Image 114” is nice, neat and organized.  Google will figure out what the image is all about and give you proper keyword credit.

Write for Yourself

Don’t worry about a “target audience.”  Never waste any time trying to think about what your fans and followers may want to see and read, or what might interest them.  Write for yourself.  Please yourself.  Write whenever you feel like it and about whatever you feel like.  People will find you effortlessly even if you take a month break from blogging.

Good Link Building

  • Hire people to submit your site to hundreds of search engines.
  • Buy a program to simply “spam” your links to tens of thousands of blog.  After all at least 5% must get through, right.
  • Buy links on lots of site.  Particularly if the links are cheap and a lot of other people are on the site doing the same thing.  After all, there is safety in numbers; Google can’t ban you all, can they?
  • Place a lot of keywords on your page with the same color font as the background.  What people can’t see, can’t hurt you.

Leave out that silly Meta Description and tags

Does Google rank keywords in the meta description or tags.  Nope.  So just leave them blank.  Don’t worry about the fact that meta description will still be used on the SERPs.  Just go with the flow and let nature help you to rise to the top of the search engines.

If you must comment make sure you are remembered

Go to other blogs and flame them.  Get downright mean.  Call into question the other Bloggers intelligence and perhaps even doubt their ability to walk upright.  Hey, if controversy works, slander and insults should work even better.

Don’t worry about your brand

Be colorful.  Never try to match all your profile pictures with a specific picture.  Let people guess.  Change up the names.  Use different pictures.  C’mon, it is fun.  Everyone is doing it.

Who needs to worry about blog traffic?

People will find you.  When you run out of things to say, just sto…


Well now, that was a fun trip to Blogging Bizarro world.  Hopefully this was a “fun” edition of the Get More Blog Traffic Blueprint.  These posts will be on hiatus for a few weeks while everyone to get up to speed on using the techniques in the series to date to drive traffic.  If you haven’t started yet, time to get to it.

So what do you think of the “Bizarro” Blog Traffic Hints.  I left a lot out. If you have your own, “anti” hints for generating blog traffic, please share them in the comment section below.

Take Action. Get Results.

9 thoughts on “Blog Traffic Blueprint Week 15”

  1. Steve:

    LOL, first thanks for the inclusion…secondly, I didn;t think rainbow poop could fit so snug in a post but you did it!! I know you are all about grabbing that exquisite internet lifestyle from me!! 🙂

    I like this Bizarro universe…let’s face it, it can truly be reality out here in the blogosphere.

    All the best,

    • LOL,

      I am not trying to take the internet lifestyle mojo from you, I am trying to get you your position back. I want to see you ranking well for Rainbow Poop again!! 😉

      There certainly are some aspects of the bizarro world can be found in the normal world.

  2. That was a great post Steve, and I love the comic book references. I stopped collecting some time ago but I remember when that was HOT and people laughed at you. No one’s laughing now! But I digress.

    It seems that being self-centered and very non-strategic aren’t very good ways to go in non-Bizarro land. And as for animated gifs, they must be making a comeback as I’m seeing more and more ads on sites that are blinking at me. Much like some things in fashion, they should just stay dead.

    • I had to jump off the comic book trend when it started getting popular. What is the point if it is actually, “cool” after all.

      Flash does eem to be making its way back. Particularly in banners. I caught myslef playing with a “lava lamp” banner on a site just the other day. You ran your mouse over it and it made lava lamp like balls that would float around and fall away. It was cool, but distracting, and now that i have seen it…I am done with that.

  3. Hi Steve, I think I’ve seen every one of these mistakes you’ve mentioned. I’d like to add a couple more, such as writing about social marketing but not having any SM sharing buttons on your post. Another one is having really ugly colors and a slow loading time to punish your readers’ eyeballs and patience. I will definitely move on from any blog that has too many grammar mistakes that it slows down my reading.

    • Jennifer,

      Nice additions! Those are certainly part of the real/bizarro world also. Hopefully headed more toward the bizarro side. It is funny but every site poked fun at, had a real world counterpart I have seen in the last year. They really are out there. (hopefully not doing ALL of the bad things)

  4. Avoiding, unessessary, comma’s is a, pain.

    Sorry, but, I didnt, see, well, anything wrong, with this Steve???

    Very fun read bro. Gave me a good laugh. It’s nice to take a different approach at times to this crazy thing we do called ‘traffic building’.

    Big smiles. 🙂


  5. Hey Steve,

    I’v ended up on quite a few bizzaro blogs! Some of them I actually found on the first page of Google – bizzaro indeed! Blogs that have content that has clearly been spun drives me barmy, I mean how do these kinds of bloggers expect anyone to take them seriously?

    I’m definitely going to start from the beginning with your blog traffic blueprint. I’ve had so much to catch up on here since finding your blog.

    Thanks for this, it’s much appreciated!

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