We’ve now arrived at the 15th edition of our Get More Blog Traffic Blueprint. So far, we’ve covered a lot of ground in this series, but there’s still some ways to go. I have burned through a lot of information on generating blog traffic so far in this series, and I still have some more coming.
But after this post I am going to put the series on a short hiatus and discuss a few other topics on for our Wednesday, “Chats.” I will ultimately work my way back to finishing up this series, have no fear.
If you haven’t implemented the blog traffic strategies from this series yet, take some time to go back to the older posts and work on integrating them into your daily routine. Now, on to the business at hand…
As a kid I enjoyed comic books. As an adult I sometimes read science fiction books with “alternate universes,” – don’t worry, I am not going to go all “full nerd” on you with this post (though tempting), I just have one point to make.
In these comic book worlds and alternative reality stories there is one theme you can find fairly frequently: evil opposite twins. Superman had an evil alternate from “Bizarro World” and many alternate universes stories also featured some sort of evil opposite.
Why do I mention this?
Because today is “Bizarro Blog Traffic Day.”
For today’s tips you will get the traffic tips that exist in an alternate blogging universe. They are the “anti” tips. They are the things to do in the blogging universe if you want your traffic to dry up and blow away as if your blog was situated in the middle of the dust bowl in the 1930’s.
In other words:
Kids, don’t try these blogging tips at home. Break this rules and you’ll risk reduce your chances to build loyal blog reader base.
Google loves Keywords. Loves them! The more the merrier.
Welcome in Keywords…the water is warm!
All those naysayers who say that 2-5% keyword density is “where you want to be” are crazy. Why even bother to write posts. Simply fill a page with keywords and the people will come running. After all who wouldn’t want to read: “blogging, blogging tips, blog traffic, traffic generation, traffic tips, blog tips, get traffic to your website, generate traffic.” Aren’t those keywords simply captivating reading?
Sense of Community
Focus: Who Needs It?
It is fine to talk about quantum mechanics one day, knitting the next and then circle back to Affiliate Marketing Emails.
Proper English is for nards.
Proper English, who needs it?
- Verbs has to agree with their subjects?
- Avoiding, unessessary, comma’s is a, pain.
- No sentence fragments.
- Not using no double negatives.
- Speling cann bee so harde.
- Avoiding the run on sentence because it is hard to read and grasp the topic and the point of what is trying to be said by the person saying it.
Ayup! Grammar is over-rated! Using spellcheck and worrying about proper puncuation and grammar is a waste of time. Why even bother. People should enjoy what you have to say, simply because you say it!
- Image Meta descriptions are for sissies. Who needs an alt image description really?
- Put lots of pictures in your post. Make sure they are all full resolution and full size so that people can see all the beauty.
- Why not throw up a few animated gifs while you are at it. After all, that animated gif of Homer Simpson swilling a beer is Funny. Capitol F-unny! Flash is FUN!
- Name the images in a system that works for you. “Image 114” is nice, neat and organized. Google will figure out what the image is all about and give you proper keyword credit.
Write for Yourself
Good Link Building
- Hire people to submit your site to hundreds of search engines.
- Buy a program to simply “spam” your links to tens of thousands of blog. After all at least 5% must get through, right.
- Buy links on lots of site. Particularly if the links are cheap and a lot of other people are on the site doing the same thing. After all, there is safety in numbers; Google can’t ban you all, can they?
- Place a lot of keywords on your page with the same color font as the background. What people can’t see, can’t hurt you.
Leave out that silly Meta Description and tags
If you must comment make sure you are remembered
Go to other blogs and flame them. Get downright mean. Call into question the other Bloggers intelligence and perhaps even doubt their ability to walk upright. Hey, if controversy works, slander and insults should work even better.
Don’t worry about your brand
Who needs to worry about blog traffic?
People will find you. When you run out of things to say, just sto…
Well now, that was a fun trip to Blogging Bizarro world. Hopefully this was a “fun” edition of the Get More Blog Traffic Blueprint. These posts will be on hiatus for a few weeks while everyone to get up to speed on using the techniques in the series to date to drive traffic. If you haven’t started yet, time to get to it.Take Action. Get Results.