Can A Relationship Make The Difference?

Here’s another great post from David of the Social Masters site. A few weeks ago, he posted an excellent article on having a personal cheerleader and I think I managed to talk him into a regular spot on this site. So if you like his article, PLEASE comment below and let him know. Anyway, let’s hear what David has to say this time…

My good pal and Social Masters partner in crime, Mr Preston Blain, made an excellent point the other day regarding the connection between being able to get into a relationship and success in the rest of your life.

When Preston was around 16, the sort of time when you start meeting girls, he started suffering with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). So instead of going out and meeting women, he was stuck at home washing his hands repeatedly.

As he got older, he started to grow out of it but it left him with a lack of confidence. His parents kept telling him that meeting the right girl and getting into a relationship would help.

Obviously though, in his current state of mind that would have been very difficult. He didn’t really want to go out of the house much let alone try and chat some bird up.

So over a period of time I helped him build up his confidence and gave him advice when it came to how to get a girl and soon he got his first girlfriend.

Does Being in a Relationship Help?

Since meeting her he’s shown so much more confidence. However my question is, “Does being in a relationship help or is it the fact that to get into a relationship you need to be confident, socially aware and generally a cool person?”

The sort of things he learned before he got into the relationship. Surely he would be still have these qualities even if he was not in a relationship, wouldn’t he?

Lots of guys and girls out there seem to think that getting into a relationship has changed them. Has made them more confident, socially outgoing and generally made them happier. This may be true to a certain extent. Being in this situation will give you more confidence, etc.

Just like making money from you own business gives you an added boost. The thing is, has it changed them or has it just made them realise that they were actually cool, socially savvy people in the first place?

I personally don’t think that getting into a relationship will make you a better person. Instead I believe that becoming a person who is capable of getting into a relationship is what truly makes the difference.

Therefore, I believe there is a lot we can learn from the qualities you need to show in order to get into a relationship. The sort of things that will help you in everyday life and not just with dating:

#1- Confident

We need to be confident in order to get into a relationship. Lack of confidence will stop you going out places where you will meet new people. It will stop you talking to these new people.

As with anything in life, having confidence is a key factor to success. Look at successful people such as sports people or business owners. They tend to be very confident people who are sure of themselves. They are willing to put themselves out there into the real world. They know success might not happen, but they are confident enough to give it a shot.

#2- Proactive

You need to be proactive in life to be successful. If you have that get up and go attitude then success will come much easier.

In terms of relationships, you have to proactively try and meet the opposite sex in order to get into a relationship. This means going out and meeting new people. You can’t expect to sit in your house and wait for your dream person to suddenly knock on the door. It just isn’t going to happen no matter how hard I wish Jessica Alba would knock on mine :-).

This can also be applied to business. If you get out there and be proactive with your work then you are much more likely to succeed as a businessman, compared to someone who sits back and hopes the money will just float into their hand. This can be applied to pretty much anything. If you are proactive then you are much more likely to be successful.

#3- Socially Savvy

What I mean by socially savvy is the ability to make others feel comfortable around you. From my own experience with meeting women, if you can make them feel comfortable around you then they are going to be more open to talking to you. Both now and in the future if you want to meet up again.

Socially savvy relates to your whole life. Making friends is much easier if you can put them at ease. New business partners, for example, are more likely to work with you if you make them feel comfortable. Let’s be honest, no one wants to be around people who make them feel uncomfortable. Whether that is in your social life or business life, people want to be around others who make them feel good.

#4- Good Communicator

When you meet somebody you need to be able to communicate well with them. You need to be able to let them know who you are and what you are about. You also need to find out about them. This is how we make friends and also how we get into relationships.

Communication skills are essential in all that we do. They are used for speaking to friends, partners, work colleagues, superiors, business partners, etc. We need good communication skills in everything we do. The ability to communicate allows us to interact with others to achieve a desired result.

Final Thought…

By making sure you meet these criteria, then you are giving yourself the best chance of success. Not just in the world of relationships but in everyday life.

The thing that you need to remember is all of these things are basics. They are not some fancy, crazy, totally insane ideas that have been thought up just to sound cool and grab your attention. They are just sound bits of advice that you would really do well to try and improve on.

For the vast majority of people these skills are already there. All you need to do now is put them into action.

Speak soon,

David Black

Like I said before, I’m trying to get David to do a regular post for this site. So be sure to check out his Social Masters site and comment below if you liked this article.

Take Action. Get Results.

5 thoughts on “Can A Relationship Make The Difference?”

  1. I find this very interesting, years ago I would have said NO relationships do not make you who you are, however, i know when I fell in love for the first time 5 years ago, I realized and felt like I could move mountains being with this man. I felt more confident, important, needed and especially secure knowing I had all this and more. I believe as teens it can go either way, down hill or up hill, it’s all a learning experience.

    • A relationship boosts whatever character strengths and exposes your flaws. Having someone to share things with, and support each other is a real benefit of being in a relationship.

  2. Any kind of relating requires a great deal of flexibility. Perhaps more than any other, relating romantically gives us every opportunity to grow because there will always be challenges in terms of communcation, co-operation, scheduling & preferences.

    The thing about romance is that it’s an ever-changing experience. So, my take is.. if ya can’t roll with the punches *outside* a relationship then you won’t get very far *in* a relationship.

    Still, being in an upbuilding connection can really allow someone to develop & evolve if they’re headed in that direction anyway.

    p.s. I love when you said “chat some bird up”.. =D

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