Change Your Behavior and Take Control of Your Life

One of the biggest moments in my life was when I made the decision to give up the 9-to-5 routine and start my own business. At one point or another, you probably decided that it was time to make a major change in your life, too—possibly a change that you were so serious about, you told everyone your plans and maybe even spent some money in preparation.
You were excited because you were going to change your behavior once and for all, and you told yourself “I’m gonna do it this time, for real!” but then it happened …  you somehow wound up back in your old ways.

Only You can Change Your Behavior

It doesn’t matter if you want to give up pizza and fast food for organic vegetarian meals or you promised yourself that you’d leave work by 5 PM instead of staying at your desk til 8 every night. No matter what you want to change in your life, it’s up to you. It’s pretty easy to play the “blame game” and claim that things aren’t your fault when you slip up. (Looking back, I’ve done it myself a few times.)

Sure, your girlfriend might have been the one to bring home a bag from Burger King the same night you were going to make tofu and broccoli for dinner, but most likely she didn’t force you to eat those French fries and drink that chocolate shake.

It can also be really hard to leave work on time—especially if you feel compelled to always make your boss super happy.  Even so, if it’s gotten to the point that you never see your family or sunlight, it’s probably a good idea to start getting out of the office when you’re supposed to. If your job is so demanding that the place can’t run without you, it might be time to find an assistant—or find a new job.

We All Control Our Own Actions

Most of us have realized by now that breaking bad habits or changing your behavior is usually easier said than done, but think of it this way: you might not be able to control your thoughts (if you’re a die-hard junk food junkie, it’s kinda doubtful you’ll suddenly think Yummm! Gimme more! when faced with a salad) but you can control your actions.

Support from friends and family members is awesome, but if you want to change your behavior and take control of a certain aspect of your life—remember that it’s up to you!

Take Action. Get Results.

19 thoughts on “Change Your Behavior and Take Control of Your Life”

  1. Steve,

    Really like this post. I can easily relate to what you talk about.

    This kind of reminds me about my own life couple of years ago when I quit my 9-5 job to start my own business as a web designer. I was real excited and wanted to make it happen so, I made a plan and took necessary action.. Did do pretty good for almost a year and then bam…Ended up back to my old ways of working day jobs…

    Things have changed since then but one of the lessons I learned from that experience is I do control my own actions.

    Thanks for sharing your awesome insights.

    • Adam,

      Awesome that you caught your own backsliding. I think we all do it from time to time. There is almost no way around it, I think. The important thing is to figure out you are doing it and “right the ship” so to speak.

      Hope you are having a great weekend,


  2. Steve, I always appreciate your wisdom and it gives me that kick in the ass to get things done and change for the best. I always hated reading about “life improvement” things because it does come from within but sometimes you do have to be told because there are those things right in your face that you’re blind to.

    I’ve been doing a very proactive approach to designing my life around what I want; it’s been hard but it’s already helped me achieve many of the things I’ve always wanted – now, it’s time to kick some ass today and rock this!

    • Murray,

      I have mixed feeling about “Life Improvement” things myself. I do not believe I am imparting new material and people are going to bolt upright and scream, “omg, I need to work hard to get ahead!”

      I do listen to a lot of “self help” tapes and I read some of the books too. Like you said, it isn’t as much that it is revelatory as it is that it is relevant to everyone. I know I like to get a “kick in the ass” sometimes myself and when you read them you can either realize that you are rocking it and on track or maybe give yourself new motivation.

  3. Hi Steve:

    You are right about taking control of life is very important. Your blog post effectively explains it that a person can do it by himself.

    Thanks for reinforcing this self improvement logic.

    Make it a great day for yourself

    Fran Aslam

  4. Hi Steve,

    Excellent post my friend. We always have the choise to stop doing what we don’t want. We have to take responsibility for our life and actions. With practice, we can overcome laziness and bad habits and achieve success. Thanks for sharing Steve 🙂

  5. Well said, Steve. I’ve actually quit a few jobs that took up all my time and time with family. It’s just not worth it in the end. In saying that I’ve continuously ended back up in similar roles. Now I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do – helping people communicate better through the written word. It’s a hard slog starting out, but I feel I’m heading in the right direction. It’s just a matter of time.

    Thanks for sharing this post. I got a lot out of it.


  6. This is post defins most of us Steve that includes me and i guess it is safe to say that we are some times scared of change but as the old saying goes never put of what you could do today for tomorrow well said and worth the raed.

  7. Steve,

    “Support from friends and family members is awesome”

    You’d think so, but actually, no. It has been well researched that if you want to achieve something – you’d better zip it! You’d better tell no one about your plans. Announcing your plans actually makes your brain think that you’ve ALREADY achieved the desired and makes you less willing to do the actual work.

    Don’t take my word for it – Google for “TED Talk Derek Sivers Keep your goals to yourself”, there are actual scientific studies (in video) to prove that point.

    • Hmmm,

      Did not know that. That is pretty interesting. Personally I always find it helps me stay on track to announce it. But what you say makes great sense. Thanks for dropping a comment to clarify and thanks for the info!

      Have an awesome week Slava!

  8. Great post Steve! It seems we are usually our own worst enemy when it comes to pursuing our goals. I have found that a lot of people that you count on for support end up subconsciously try to sabotage you once you start improving!

    I heard a great quote once, “Change the people you hang out with, or change the people you hang out with!” Neither is easy, but sometimes, if they are toxic enough, you have to bite the bullet and just do it.

  9. Yes! Yes Yes Yes!!!!!

    Everything we do or don’t do is a choice. We can control anything in life by the choices we make.

    Most people make the choice not to choose and so just go with what happens. When you unleash the power of choice though, it’s the coolest thing ever.

    The best thing to do after making a truly committed decision though is take some immediate action!

  10. Hi Steve,

    This is a great article on changing behaviour and taking control of your life.

    I fully agree with you that only the person who wishes to change can make that very change. A desire for and the need to change is the first step to any change. But to expand on your point, I would like to point out that it is necessary to know why you want to change. When you have a clear sense of purpose and motivation that is compelling enough, the change comes naturally.

    Thanks for sharing!

  11. I agree with you completely. Folks tend to rely on others so they can be used as scapegoats when things don’t work out. This is YOUR experience in living, nobody has as much control of it as you do. It’s completely up to you to make it happy or not.

  12. Yeah Steve,

    I believe that any man on Earth will once come to the moment where he has to decide to make a big change or not. And it depends solely on each one of them to become a better person and living a better life, or not. I understand the situation. And I support people who are courageous to make big changes for better things in their lives. I’m one of them (like you) 🙂

    Your old self-growth posts are really great man! Have a nice day!

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