I Get By With a Little Test on My Friends…

I would consider myself to be pretty generous to my friends and family.  Whenever someone needs help, I’m usually there to lend support.  In my opinion, it’s through our relationships that we get the really good things in life.

Advice About Starting an Online Business

In the last few years, I’ve talked to a number of people in my life about my online business.  A lot of them are in the proverbial dead-end job or simply have a desire to earn extra income on the side.  Naturally, they’ve asked for advice about how to get started with Internet Marketing.

A few years back, I was always ready to help anyone who asked.  I would spend hour after hour creating blueprints and emailing them with lists of ideas.  Unfortunately, all my effort was wasted.  Usually the response I would get was a vague, “I’ll take a look at this when I’m not busy.”

I can honestly say that I truly care for my friends and family.  However it REALLY pisses me off when I waste my time helping people who won’t lift a finger to help themselves.  That’s because I truly believe that…

…Your Time IS Money

I’ll admit it.  I’m way too regimented with my time.  The reason I’m this way is because I’ve learned that you need to be a little strict when it comes to running your own business.

So the time I spend helping my friends (or family) could be time I dedicate towards growing my business and creating long-term success.  The end result is I lose money whenever I try to help somebody.

That’s why I like to do a “mini-test” with anyone who asks for help.  Let me explain…

“Mini-Testing” Your Friends and Family

Nowadays I follow a very simple formula with people who ask for advice about starting an online business.

First, I’m very honest with them about what it’s like.  I explain that it requires a lot of time and dedication.  I’m clear that it’ll require a number of sacrifices.  And it’ll probably take at least a few months before they see any results from their efforts.

Next, I send them an entire eCourse that helped me learn about the process of affiliate marketing.  I tell them that I paid almost $1400 in 2006 for this information.  But they’re going to get it for free.

Finally I follow-up with an email after a week; asking what they thought about the course.  The sad fact is most of the time I’ll get back some lame excuse about why they don’t have time to read it.

Separating the “Doers” from the “Tire-Kickers”

I do this test for one simple reason… It helps me identify the “tire-kickers” in my life.  These are the people that hem and haw about wanting a better life, but won’t take that simple first step towards helping themselves.

In my head, I’m sending them the keys to financial success.  And in theirs, they see that it involves a four letter word they probably hate…WORK.

By creating this mini-test, I’m quickly able to assess the people who are willing to take action in their lives.  It also saves me from wasting my efforts on someone who probably won’t succeed.

I know this sounds a bit brutal, but the harsh reality is most people are unwilling to help themselves.  They might make noises about wanting success, but they’re usually not ready to shift their mindset towards making a significant change in their lives.

Testing the People in Your Life

I’m going to make an assumption here.  If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then I can make the educated guess that you have (or you’re working towards) success in your life.  In all likelihood, I’m pretty certain that people have approached you at some point asking for your help.

My advice is simple.  Make these people prove that they deserve your attention.  As I said before, your time is money.  Sure, it’s nice to help your loved ones.  But you should only do so when they show some level of dedication towards helping themselves.

What do you think?  Please comment below…

Take Action. Get Results.

13 thoughts on “I Get By With a Little Test on My Friends…”

  1. Thanks Steve,

    We should help people who do need help. Unfortunately, many people don’t want to be helped and/or don’t take action to change their lives.

    Thanks for sharing
    .-= Dia´s last blog ..Power of dreams =-.

  2. Steve,

    It has been said that we should not judge others. But then, when it comes to our limited and precious time, which IS money as you rightly pointed (and actually much more than that, may be even priceless), I fully agree that it’s right to test whether those people really deserve all our time and energy.

    I’ve been through this too. It’s so true that people want to know all your success secrets just for the sake of satisfying their curiosity, and to check if there’s something there that they can duplicate, in case it requires “no effort”. They don’t see how much time and effort is required in reaching that hard-earned success.

    After all, you can take the horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink. And if it doesn’t drink that water, what’s the point of giving it more?

    Wishing you success,
    .-= Mark @ Secrets of Success´s last blog ..Snore away to success! =-.

    • Mark- I like that part about “no effort.” This one has always been hard for me because there are times when I don’t do a lot of work and goof off. So naturally, people tend to think that it’s always been that way. But when I talk about the 60-70 hour weeks that I use to put in, they realize that starting an online business requires getting off your butt.

      On a side note, thanks for sending me an email. You were right, the comment you submitted ended up in my “Spam” folder. I can’t describe how much this ticks me off, because Askimet is supposed to be 99.99999% effective. Anyway, glad you pointed it out…now I know to regularly look in this folder for other comments that might have been missed.

  3. Interesting post! I think everyone with some level of success fall into the trap of helping others who don’t really need or want the help.

    Those people don’t know what they are missing though!
    .-= Marthe´s last blog ..Lomo London and Oslo =-.

    • Yes, it’s a sad fact that most of us are surrounded by people who can help us, but we often don’t take the time to ask for (and listen to) their help.

  4. Hi Steve,

    This is so true. I’ve made the same mistakes as you. I’ve learned that if I want it more for them than they want it for themselves, it’s never going to work.

    Also, if I’m spending more time creating their future than they are, then again, it’s just not going to work.

    Tough lessons to learn but worthy ones. I’ve never tried your idea of sending the same course I used but I’m going to give it a go.

    • Agreed. There’s something inherently wrong when we’re more worried about a person’s success than the person is. Sometimes you have to be willing to walk away from someone who can’t do anything to fix their situation.

  5. It is a good system that turns the request around on them. You respond but only with enough information to see if they are really motivated. I’m curious. Have any of your friends actually worked at following you?
    .-= Ralph´s last blog ..Let’s Remember Decoration Day =-.

  6. I can relate Steve,
    when I was working in network marketing quite a few of my friends and family signed up with me because of the results I was getting, but to a man (or woman) they all gave up within a month because they didn’t see the same results, even though some of them did better in their first month than I did in mine. They wanted the year five income from day one.
    In response to all the ‘how do you do it?’ requesets I put a ‘Work from home workbook’ together, which was downloaded from my site at the time by about 12% of site visitors. At then end of the workbook was a link to my personal inbox with the invitation to get one on one help. About 1% of the people who downloaded it ever got that far, and even then most of the emails were along the lines of “aren’t there any shotcuts?”
    Since I’ve been freelancing and building a residual income from writing online, only one of the dozen or so people who have asked me how to do it has actually put in enough effort to reach payout at a writing site, my sister, and even she decided at that point it was just all too much like hard work and packed it in.
    .-= Gail´s last blog ..Investing in Junk Coins by Keith Hamburger =-.

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